Gives new meaning to stuck in traffic #oy

Gives new meaning to stuck in traffic #oy

Looks like mom and dad are really struggling through retirement #Saratoga #blueberries

Looks like mom and dad are really struggling through retirement #Saratoga #blueberries

Bought these beauties at the market and got two free tomatoes for my troubles #admo #farmersmarket

Bought these beauties at the market and got two free tomatoes for my troubles #admo #farmersmarket

Thanks so much, asshole. Hope you’re enjoying that running gear. #HappyFriday

Thanks so much, asshole. Hope you’re enjoying that running gear. #HappyFriday

Leikeli47 bangin on your dishes

via

Tinder

Gave my phone to a friend’s boyfriend at dinner last night so he could play with my Tinder app. Got it back to find he’d matched me with 30 dudes and messaged all of them “dick pic please.” 

The best part? Of those dudes, 25 of them responded, 10 asked me for pussy/tit pics first, 2 asked if I was on snapchat, 2 gave me their phone numbers, and 1 said “hahah nooo” but then told me where he was if I wanted to go see him in person.

DC is so fucking thirsty, you guys.

doinwork:

Jungle - Time

God, I love this band.

(Source: yimmyayo)

Happy belated 4th you assholes.

Happy belated 4th you assholes.

Kali Uchis - Lean on You

dad:oh, and [unintelligible] is playing here at SPAC for three days
me:who?
dad:PHISH! You know, Trey Empanazio?